Everyone gets jealous when they're in love, but some a lot more so than others. Have you been jealous for ages but you don't know how to beat it?
If you can't stand your other half hanging around with other people and if you're constantly spying on them, it's time to put things right or else you risk destroying your relationship. Doctissimo unveils some tips to curb your instincts of jealousy, based on one important aspect: trust in the other person.
Don't confuse work and pleasure
- Situation: They're surrounded by colleagues of the opposite sex, a large number of whom are attractive.
What you should do: It's no good letting your imagination run riot if they get home a little late from work. Don't make any snide comments - if they've had work late, they're certainly not going to be in the mood for criticism as soon as they step through the door. Instead, try to help them wind down by talking to about something else.
Everyone needs a private life
- Situation: They get a private phone call and don't tell you who it was.
What you should do: Everyone has the right to their own secret garden of privacy. Just because you live together doesn't mean they have to tell you everything. You've got no right to spy on their phone calls or open their mailbox. Just imagine if they did that to you! On the contrary, give them a new mobile phone for Christmas in order to cure yourself of your acute spy mania and show them that you really do want them to have their freedom!
Learn to listen
- Situation: When you're out for the evening or with friends, they always get into deep conversations with people, often of the opposite sex.
What you should do: What if you're to blame for them always chatting with others because you don't pay them enough attention? It's natural for them to look elsewhere for someone who'll listen to them more. Instead of spending the evening watching over them and blaming them, try to be there more for them.
Off to the beach
- Situation: They've bought rather a skimpy swimsuit for your seaside holiday.
What you should do: No, they're not purposely trying to look provocative walking around in that bikini on the beach, so don't stop them from stripping off! It's also no use being on the look-out for anyone watching them so that you can yell at them for sneaking a look. It's natural to try to look attractive. You should be flattered that people are jealous of you!
My boy/girlfriend's friends...
- Situation: They go out often with their friends without you and you're not invited.
What you should do: No, they are not necessarily inventing an excuse to see their mistress (or lover). Here too, they have a right to have a private life, so don't take delight in calling their friends to check up on them. Neither is it any good "digging in" at home: you'll just end up bored stiff more than anything else. So take advantage of the opportunity to see some of your own mates.
Judging a book by its cover
- Situation: They're criticising you for not taking care of your appearance as much as some of the men/women they hang around with.
What you should do: No, they're not telling you that they fancy your friends or colleagues - they're talking to you about you and how they feel about you. And what if they're right? If you want them to only have eyes for you, you'd better start looking after your appearance. And that's not just on special occasions, but on a day-to-day basis.
These are just a few examples to illustrate the main points for keeping jealousy at bay: trust, respect and freedom. If you don't believe your other half and what they say, your relationship can't be a sound one. So to give your relationship a chance to flourish, you must show your partner that you're not trying to lock them in a cage!
Copyright © 2010 Doctissimo
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