The 4 secrets of a perfect relationship
Men and women are made to get along. But daily routine can bring with it worries, disagreements, misunderstandings and fatigue, casting a shadow over that happy relationship...
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Making an effort when in a relationship is very important of course, as is knowing how to give without expecting anything in return. Preparing your partner’s favourite meal, running him a bath, giving her a back massage... these are all little kindnesses which any normally-constituted person loves! As long as your partner realises just how lucky he or she is!
1. Express your desires loud and clear
You’d love a romantic weekend away for your wedding anniversary? Or some lingerie for Valentine’s Day? Don’t hang around waiting for your partner to guess what you want: tell him! It’s a sure-fire way of avoiding resentment. Most couples love to make each other happy; sometimes they just don’t know how to go about it. The same goes for sex: if you don’t tell your partner clearly what you like, what you want her to do and how, or what you don’t particularly like, she won’t be able to guess all by herself. Ask nicely and clearly (don’t mince your words) and your partner is very likely to do the utmost to fulfil your desires!
2. Take time out for the two of you
Work, kids, TV, bills... what about your relationship in all of that? Try and find time every day to talk, listen, and be intimate, a moment when you don’t discuss work, money or the children’s education. Just think about the two of you, how you’re feeling and what you want to tell each other. Spending this time together helps you feel like you really do exist as a person for your partner. Get into the routine of taking 15 minutes of ‘one-on-one’ time, during a romantic meal in the evening or once in bed...
3. Don’t decide for yourself
When it comes to the most important issues, the final decision is not just for one partner to make. These decisions should be made together, after talking to each other and finding a satisfactory compromise. Both partners in a relationship are therefore equal in their decision-making – a demonstration of good dialogue, good listening and mutual respect.
4. Don’t forego sex
No couple lasts without a satisfying sex life... all those couples who make peace under the covers will tell you so! And while there are no ‘norms’ to follow when it comes to sex (number of times a week, length of lovemaking sessions, etc.), the important thing is to both be happy. This means taking time, using creativity and being organised... not always easy to make an effort when you’re tired after a day’s work, but definitely worth it... Don’t skimp on foreplay either; make a change of scenery and vary sexual positions too. For a satisfying sex life, you need to listen to your partner - ask questions, whisper sweet nothings and pay attention to his or her feelings and desires...
And always keep an element of seduction in your relationship!
Copyright © Doctissimo 2011
Posted 09.05.2012
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